The poem I once read (by Astell Collins)

So, I know this man, Astell Collins. He's a poet. I met him a while back and thought I'll read up on his work. They all seemed restricted and 'controlled'. Well, all until I saw the one below, titled: The poem I once read. And I really liked it. Here goes:

The poem I once read
Poetry creates for me an altered state. I am lured by the expressions of sacred thoughts fixed for delight. My emotional pulse becomes preoccupied as I decide on the article of my souls’ demand. It was simply a particular arrangement of words that captured my curiosity. This process fascinated me as it excites my hunger for more. Why this one and not another? I imagine it is like choosing the wife of your dreams while dreaming. The decision was made by my souls’ discretion. The ceremonial choosing mesmerizes me as my feet trembles at the memory. My palms became moist as I embrace the page upon which my beloved lies awaiting my essence. I inhaled and was immediately filled with words. I needed to breathe into someone.
Without warning it began. It was the title then the first line, followed by the second as I continued. What is this? Suddenly the stranger I sought after emerged. With every spoken word her sensual divinity was revealed, as I meticulously separate the garments from her carnal splendor. The perfect temptation was now known. My eyes wide shut. I was infected with desire as my body liquefied. I knew her thoughts without her lips making them known. Her silent utterances cradled the anticipation of my ability to part her legs.
Her needs though unspoken deafened me. Ecstasy now pursued me. I resisted, fighting only to promote reality. She exhaled whispering, “Possess me”. Dangling dangerously between reality and my imagination, I was conquered. Wearing only the music of the tempo of our hearts, she listened to the stroke of my voice. As I extended my gift for her inside her delicate décor, the written words transformed us both into each other. She was becoming me as I became her. She received me, welcomed me and delighted in my control and supremacy. She echoed the screams of her soul, groaning intensely, she surrendered her will completely over to me. I died and was reborn. Now filled to overflowing, I guided her across the seas of fulfillment. The extravaganza had reached the last line. As I savoured this culmination, I anticipated the next.

by Astell Collins.

yet another new one

...As true as the saying "there's nothing new under the sun" goes, one can not seem to run out of things to call new, more so, ever so often. Things like new year, and the baggage that goes with it.. birthdays and anniversaries... new age, and fresh wrinkles (ha! oxymoron?)

Oh well, a friend at work came asking about blogs and the definition and that reminded me of mine :). Of course, I didn't forget you. So here we are. Wonder if i can make a rate of 1 blog/week.

So, I really do need encouragement from anyone, anyone out there... co-bloggers, pleaseee... I plead... Oh well, guess I'm alone in my little world.

Happy days.

Ode to A year of 'us'

I have tolled and tilled to no avail

Attempts to amaze, a heart afar

But my love and ache for you is mine

And none other can bear or try

They've failed me, as friends, or fiends?

Yet they, I cannot have to blame

For I know, my heart will not fail me,

Even on days as this

And now to give, I have not much

No gold or silvering offerings

Yet my heart I have, thumping for you

This and a promise of hearts I give

As long as it beats, I pray and will

That only for you and God to stay

proof

so... we argued about proof! to prove a point.

and it went on and on, round and round in circles about things that can be and things that cannot be. My logic a maze to her as hers is to me.

Can I be too fixed? Can one say I believe too hard in what I do believe in that I cannot see things any other way, their way, which is a proof of the level of belief in their way? Is it even a way?

Can the believe in lack of evidence be compared to belief in existence?

What is believing? and HOW do we get to the stage of believing? Where in this journey, does questioning come into being?

Can I believe and still probe? does the belief in a thing give it immunity of scrutiny?

I believe the things I choose not to question. I question the things I choose not to believe. Choose? Can I help myself?

Of lovers gone, she expanded on. Enlightening me of how blessed I am, the blessing being her, I should be thankful for. She fulfills so much in me, I don't want to question it. Yet, if I do, I am sure to find, holes and hill that I can't see around. Did I choose to believe? Choose?

November. It's a year in a few days. :). I am grateful... as she is. That I'm sure of.

this thing called love

....it don't have a name, it don't have a way, it is nothing and yet everything...

awful confusing, at first, then it forms into something beautiful yet nameless... its new and very different from what ever you've heard... yet you know it's name... it can only be love...

and all the songs, the poems, the scripts, bible verses, about it, well, they sorta make sense... not before, it was all bull to me... until i felt it... as I do now.

I love you. I really really do. I can't love you enough, cause as much as I do, I still want to love you more... it is becoming me, the well from which I draw my existence...

structure of thougth

Does it even exist? How far up is it? I am wondering, if one is to actually structure the path thought is supposed to take, without complicating it, can one possibly give it some level of intelligence.. it being the structure?

Thoughts. How does one reach an advanced level of thinking?... Improve on an already existing level of thinking? How does one make a very efficient machine of the mind?

How does one govern the system. Can one control his thoughts? How so? self governing self. Self governed self-governor.

Can one work in abstraction of ones' mind without including a second, third party?

In the process of a damage, how bad can it be before one is incapable of fixing ones' self? self being that body existing around that body of thought... the thought-system being the core.

If one were to reach such level of intelligence and ability of abstraction, can one have parallel instances of the same thought-system existing with varying parameters as one chooses?...

Can the mind be truly computerized?

Kenya: Nairoberry or Nairuby.

Habari!!It's August 4!! and I'm in Nairobi.... today they vote in their new constitution... one that replaces a former that's been in existence since..... ' when? ' :).. and given the way the Kenyans are taking it, it's all a passionate life changing, religious-folks-bowel-jolting, political-opportunities-grabbing process...
The new constitution was drafted, reviewed, and well, about to be passed by the citizens of the country. The 'older' citizens will vote either 'yes' or 'no' on the new constitution. There is a frenzy of 'what will be'?? and I happen to find myself in the midst of it all.

Not that it affects me in anyway... at least not directly.. but this has made my stay in Nairobi, (10 days and counting) interesting. I never run out of what to say to the cab-drivers that takes me to/fro my station of work... and there is always some argument, lobbying, debating, etc... on the available media

...the tension, well, pseudo-tension, (cause I'm not really feeling much of it now) yes, the tension.. the last major voting that took place in Kenya ended in some form of bloody violence, January-2007.... That will keep me sorta locked in my room for the most part of the day... surfing the net, reading a book and following the days' even on the television slate. Peradventure, hunger, boredom or sheer curiosity will drive me out of my room... will see later on.

Anyways,... on the light side, I'm staying in Nairobi central, Fairmont- the Norfolk. Not that I've been in many hotels in my lifetime, but given what I've seen on tv adverts, my stays, visits to friends at hotel rooms, etc, this is nice. I've managed to join the presidents' club for the Fairmont hotel chain and I've been getting a few perks and benefits that are nice. Free internet, complementary fruit bowls, complementary cheese platters, gym-kits and iPod at my request.. hmmm.. plus I get my bed turned before I sleep, room fleeted just a few minutes before or just when I walk in from work, etc... I'm loving it. I currently have the option of choosing a hotel closer to work but I think I've fallen in love with the Norfolk.


And all the bad vibes I got about this place before I came,... well, no as bad at all. The food takes getting used to, especially the ones from outside... and so does the road and driving. I managed to drive for a few days... and I've had no form of Nairuby so far... and I hope it stays that way.

Well, blog, how come the year has gone so quickly? It's already the 4th of August. We're left with about a third of the year. 2010, all gone... all gone. So much to do... so little time... such skinny legs...